What if you really mattered

What if you really mattered?

Most of our lives we are running around as if we don’t really matter. That is the way we live our lives. We live in our own secluded space. Sometimes we go out. We go to work. We go shopping. We do our dishes, our laundry, we live our lives as if we didn’t really matter.

I have been thinking about this recently because of a series of losses and hardships that I went through. My good friend Cian Green passed away aged 40. On the same day, a 5 year old friend of my son died. And at the beginning of the year one of my best friends, Damien Crowe, was diagnosed with colon cancer and has undergone surgery and treatment for this. The treatment had a heavy toll on his emotional well-being and he asked me, why are we even here? Do we even matter?

These questions have been with me for a while now and I would like to share a few thoughts about this with you.

What if you did?

What if you really mattered?

Just think about it.

What if all the small interactions that you have every day really mattered?

What if every day you could change somebody’s life?

What if that was your choice?

Think about it.

Start from your inner circle. Your family. You matter to them. What you do, what you say and how you feel matters to them.

Every day, I can see how my emotional well-being influences the ones around me. If I am in a bad mood and I let it out, it has a direct impact on my wife and my son. If I don’t meditate or do my exercises in the morning and push my energy levels up, it affects my family. Doing it or not is my choice. Whether I choose or not, it has an effect. So why would I not choose?

Next to your family. your closest friends. You matter to them, right? What you do, what you say, how you feel has an impact on them, right? Whether you gossip about someone or tell a story that has a positive impact, it affects the people you are surrounding yourself with, the people you are talking about and the people that these people are dealing with. Again, you cannot choose whether you matter or not. Whether you want to have an effect on people or not, the people you are dealing with, the interactions you have with other people have an impact. All you have is your choice what kind of impact you want to leave.

I live in Bangkok. A city of 13 million people. When you are going out of your house it is a convulsion of people that surround you. It often makes you feel insignificant. It often also makes me feel as if the others were insignificant, because there are so many, passing you by, doing their business.

But…what if you really mattered, even in a city of 13 million people.

What if you could change a person’s life today? With a little interaction. A smile. A heartfelt thank you. A simple thing that doesn’t cost you anything can have an impact, even just a small one on a person’s life. Someone you don’t know.

The cashier at the supermarket or 7/11. The street vendor. The motorbike taxi driver. The Grab driver.

Imagine you yelling at somebody today, which affects them. Maybe they go home and yell at their children or their spouse because they had a bad day. The children and the spouse of those people again have an impact on other people.

All we have is a choice. What kind of impact do we want to have on others, because without any doubt, whether we want it or not, we matter. Our actions matter and affect others.

Our interactions work like waves. Ever since becoming a father I can see it more clearly. What I do, how I behave influences my son. It affects my son’s life. And he in turn interacts with other people and affects their lives. Because of his nature and the way he was raised it is part of his nature to lift other people up. When his friends are moody or sad, he lifts up their spirits and turns them around. And he is 5 years old. I matter to my son and he matters to others and his friends matter to their parents and their parents matter to other people. If my son makes their kids happy, they are happier, and they can positively affect others in return.

Now just for a moment imagine having a mindset that all of our actions have an impact on others. And these interactions cause waves and affect others. Like the principle of the butterfly effect. The only conclusion can be that our actions and interactions matter.

All you have is a choice how do you want to affect other people? What kind of impact do you want to have on other people’s lives?

The way we live our lives matter as it affects other people. This should be a celebration. Your life has meaning. Your life has an impact and what you do can change others.

Now it is up to you to decide what impact do you want to have on other people? What do you want you legacy to be? What kind of waves would you like to send out in the world?

If life on this planet was a play, what would you like your line in this play to be?

That is your own personal decision. Your impact on the world. Your choice. Because you matter.

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